Til Death Do You Part

Employees videoing their layoffs, CEO and Senior managers going viral for pushing tone-deaf messages: Hello 2023 and Welcome 2024! The pain of losing a job is something we all hope to avoid, yet something we all will likely experience. But who is to blame for all these layoffs? Is it nefarious CEOs and managers plotting our demise? Or is our anger and mistrust misguided?

We must level-set our expectations before we dig into this topic. I have worked with and see many people who feel a debt or obligation to their employer – and it could be for a myriad of reasons: taking a chance hiring them, skills only apply to that employer, compensation, lack of other employment options, benefits, long-term compensation packages (“golden handcuffs”), and virtually any other reason you can think of – point being, if you are employed you can create any reason for being “married” to your employer.

Two statements are below, which one sounds like the better deal to you?

  1. A covenant is neither a cold contract nor merely an emotional pledge. It is giving your whole life to each other, not just physically but also legally, financially, emotionally, spiritually.
  2. At-will employment is an employment arrangement in which the employee may quit at any time, and the employer may fire the employee for any reason and at any point, so long as the dismissal isn’t for an unlawful reason.

Why your employer isn’t marrying you

The issue is, you will not find statement A in any employee handbook, earnings report, or corporate mission/vision statements. That is what marriage is according to Tim Keller in the book, Meaningful Marriage. Marriage is a convent, in which each person in the marriage gives 100% of all aspects of their life to the relationship, regardless. But statement B is what employers are legally responsible for in the US, and explains how they behave. You may read and hear things like sustainability, reskilling or training, mental health, well-being, engagement, and authenticity at your employer but make no mistake – those all fall significantly short of what a marriage covenant is.

If you’ve been in your job for longer than 4 years, congratulations! You are beating the average. In January 2022, the median tenure was just 3.9 years.  This means every four years; you should be expecting a change to your job and/or employer. The tenure drops even more if you’re younger, 25-34 year olds is just 2.8 years. The total number of jobs an average worker will hold over their career: 12! And the number of jobs held is certainly going up. Comparatively, marriage tenure is close to 20 years. And most married couples are hopeful for a lifetime of bliss.



Jobs change. And jobs are changing!

Probabilities suggest not IF you change or lose your job, but WHEN you change/lose your job. Think about some of these fast facts:

  • 44% of workers skills will be disrupted in the next 5 years
  • 23% of job churn is expected in next 5 years (brand new jobs created + old jobs removed)
  • AI alone is expected create 69 million new jobs by 2025

It feels like many of us have higher expectations for our employers than we do for our marriage. The very nature of employment law does not hold covenant expectations for employers. So why do we put our emotions, spirit, finances, and health and safety in the trust of our employers? If we continually expect a covenant to govern how employers treat us, we are going to continually be unprepared, angry, bitter – and hopeless.